What Love Is

I often wonder how do I love but I think I love in these few peculiar ways:

I do not easily fall in love, especially to someone I barely know. I believe in attraction at first sight, but not love at first sight. For me, love is nurtured by time and togetherness. I am not easily smitten by a man's attractive looks, however, I am usually drawn closer to someone who cares for me and treats me special. Someone who shares the same wavelength with me. Most importantly, someone I trust.

I love patiently. I refuse to engage into a romantic relationship just for the sake of it, just to show to the world I have someone in my life. I prefer to wait for the man I love, convinced that he is worth waiting for. Yet, along the way, I have realized, waiting is not easy. :(

I love faithfully. My heart seems locked up for the one I have chosen to love. I am like a horse that is not inclined to looking elsewhere, only to one direction, that is to the one I love. Yes, I still appreciate those good looking guys out there, yet it remains superficial. I do cherish the love being given to me by the one I also love more than a priceless jewel. Yet, I will freely let it go when clouded with doubts and uncertainties.

I have realized that loving someone is not always as sweet as candies. It is not simply an emotion, not simply about blushing and getting excited to next adventures together. Loving is all about the following:

Commitment. Regardless of the circumstances, you commit to love the person and do your part to make the relationship grow. Whether you are sad, disappointed and furious, it does not mean you stop loving.

Openness. Of course, you must not hide what you really feel. Do not make one person guess. Be open. After all, "open rebuke is better than secret love", says Proverbs. A secret love is heading to nowhere, hence, has no future. Pretending to be "okay" when you are not only makes things worse.

Faithfulness. I remember what I read in one article, which defines faithfulness as "having full of faith not to be caught cheating". That's the worst definition ever (which maybe some can relate). :( For me, faithfulness means being faithful to your partner by resisting and standing firm when temptations bang your door.

Trust. Well, how can you love someone you do not trust? Impossible. It only begets paranoia, worse, pain. Trust is truly vital in a relationship because whether you are physically together or not, you have the peace of mind that you are not being betrayed. I gave up my past relationship because of shattered trust. It was so ironic that the person I loved was the same person I could not trust anymore.

God as the center of your relationship. Misunderstanding, quarrels, and conflicts are real to all relationships. What is important is how you deal with these matters and how you let God intervene. We should not be overcome by our own selfish desires. We have to check if what pleases the Lord. We should be humble to admit and correct our own mistakes. In such ways, the relationship we value will grow and mature. :)