Happily Waiting :-)

It's all over!

My feelings for him. My regrets. My pain. I have moved on. I have accepted we are not made for each other.

I believe God is still writing my love story. I may not know yet the leading man in that story. However, I am pretty sure he is the best for me. My heart may long for someone else for now. My faith may dwindle every now and then. Still, I trust that the moment the Lord will reveal the right one for me, it will be a delightful surprise. More than I expect. More than my heart desires.

He may not fit the standards I have set for a lover, much more for a lifetime partner. He may not be what others expect for me to share the rest of my life with. Still, I have the peace that he is the best for me. The best not because of what and who he is or he is not. The best because he is the one God has prepared for me.

I am just right here. Waiting. Hoping. Praying. Trusting.

Hope to meet him soon in God's perfect time.

Time Heals

I just want to thank one person who helped me move on. He is the same person who caused my heart misery few years ago. Though, I believe, it was also my fault. After all, it took the two of us to "tango". And so I blamed myself, too.

Looking back, I enjoyed those times we were together. He was the sweetest suitor I ever had. . . and maybe the most patient. However, waiting is not really easy. He could wait no more. And so he left without letting me know why. I was hurt when I learned from a common friend that he already got married. So painful!

I felt betrayed with what he did. I cried several times. Deep inside, I wanted to ask him why he did it to me. I wanted to scream! But I realized it would not do anything good. Not anymore.

A year passed by. Then one night, someone sent me text messages but refused to reveal his identity. A familiar line from his text made me recognize him. He was surprised I knew it was him. How could I forget such familiar line?

We talked over the phone for almost an hour on that same night. He said "sorry" for what happened. He did a sort of explanation of what happened about a year ago. He told me that all he wanted that time was to settle down but I was quite pre-occupied with my career and my masteral. That he wanted my full attention then, which apparently I failed to give.. . And that he missed me. . .That it should have been the two of us now. . .He asked me if I ever loved him. . . And I said, it's already part of the past and there's no point of telling him, whatever it might be.

I told him God has other plans for the both of us. That we are not really meant for each other. Otherwise, he should have not met his wife during the time he wanted to settle down.

With all honesty, his call flattered my heart. It convinced me that indeed he loved me. That I was special to him. . . But sad to say it's all over now! And all I need to do is.... accept.

Moving on without him may still hurt once in a while. However, I now have the peace of mind after our talk. I am just glad we remain friends. And I do want to be a good friend to him by encouraging him to be faithful, not to me, but to his wife.