God's Grace Is Enough For Me

Listening to Chris Tomlin's song, Your Grace is Enough, has sparked a new hope in my heart.

". . .Remember your people. Remember you children. Remember your promise, oh God. . ."
These lines of the song are somewhat a plea with God to remember. But has He ever forgotten? Of course not. Indeed, God's grace is enough! The life alone He has given is more than enough to prove that His grace is enough.

By God's grace, I am saved. For it is by God's grace that you have been saved through faith. It is not the result of your own efforts, but God's gift, so that no one can boast about it (Ephesians 2:8-9).

By His grace, I am breathing. By His grace, I am living. By His grace I am stronger after all the trials. By His grace, I am holding on to His promises of a good future. For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plan to prosper you and not to harm you, plan to give you the future you hope for (Jeremiah 29:11).

Lord, it's all about your grace. Without your grace, I am nothing. I am just like a wave being tossed by the wind in the ocean. I am just like a flower that withers and dies. I am what I am now because of your grace. Your loving grace.

How can I express my thanksgiving, Lord?

Being Alone in the Dark

Twas past 12 mid-night when I got home from the bible study and birthday celebration of Elwyn (a churchmate)at his place. I brought my house keys but the main door was already double locked. Since the house was ransacked few weeks ago, our landlady has imposed to double lock the main door at 12 mid-night. When we were about to leave at Elwyn's place, I called up a roommate and asked a favor to open the main door for me. I was a bit apprehensive though if she could make it knowing she's a sleepyhead. When I reached home, my landlady opened the main door while I was still opening the gate. I was glad she was still awake. I thanked her as I entered the house. I immediately headed to the comfort room and few minutes later went upstairs where our room is located. And to my dismay, the door was closed! I called up my two roommates but their cellphones just kept on ringing. After many attempts, I decided to spend the night in the living room. Still, God is good as I was safe inside the house.

Since my younger years, I have been afraid of being alone in the dark. Maybe because I am used to having roommates. I shared the room with my older sister from elementary to high school. When I was in college, I also stayed in the dormitory where I shared the room with three others. Maidy, a dorm mate, remarked that I should not be afraid being alone in the dark. . . for in the dark, tears can freely fall without being seen. I do think she is right. When I feel down, I do cry with the lights off. I do not want my roommates to see me crying. I do not want them to witness my vulnerability. Through the years, I have learned crying in the dark, without being noticed by roommates (though at times, my eyebugs simply showed I cried!).

Amazing. Last night, I did not feel any fear while being alone in the dark. The big mirror in the living room did not scare me, too. I am usually afraid of a big mirror during night time (I like the mirror during day time, especially when I am fixing myself!), with the childish thought and cowardice that some ghosts might appear in there.

I fell asleep at approximately 2:30AM. For the two hours I was awake, I was lying down in the couch (good thing, it's a long couch and I just fit comfortably; was just a little uncomfortable wearing the same pants and blouse I wore in the bible study/party)while exchanging text messages with two of my churchmates (Matet and Tere) who were also concerned if I got home safely. Matet could not also sleep yet for she was still waiting for her beloved "best", Patrick, to arrive in his own home after bringing her home (so sweet!). The texts from another friend (Jaypee) also made me feel relieved; they offered me some company for a while.

I also spent time reflecting and talking to God. I could not explain but my heart was heavy then. Not because it was my first time not to sleep in our room after my four years of stay in the boarding house. I think it's because I am still trying to understand how few important things in my life have unfolded, with some unexpected "twists". I was asking God to give me comfort, peace and joy while waiting for Him to reveal His plans for me. But I must admit, waiting is truly tiring and painful... Without His grace, I can easily give up. But I do not want to give up too soon. Pastor Norman mentioned in his Sunday sermon that one of the reasons of failure is "giving up too soon."

Early morning, Matet sent me an inspiring verse found in Psalm 37:4, " Seek your happiness in the Lord, and He will give you your heart's desire. Tere also sent me another encouraging verse in Matthew 6:34, "So do not worry about tomorrow; it will have enough worries of its own. There is no need to add the troubles each day brings."

I am truly inspired with those verses. I thank God for using my care group to cheer me up. God is really sensitive of my feelings. He knows when I am joyful and sorrowful.

I do thank you, dear Lord for being with me always especially every time I am groping in the dark.


p.s. Today, I commit to read the book, Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. I want to have a 40-day journey with the Lord as I seek His will. =)

My 30th Birthday

September 3, 2010

My 30th birthday was one of the happiest. And my happiness just radiated in my face, they said.

Though I got caught with cold, I was still beaming with excitement thinking of the persons who would remember my special day and the feeling of being a year older.

Though I am used to celebrating my birthdays away from my family since I was in college, still a part of me was wishing I could spend my special day with my family. I once tried going home on my birthday but it was very physically draining with the long travel and short leave from work.

I celebrated my birthday with my officemates and my church mates (DBC Young Professional care group). A night before my birthday, I also joined the birthday celebration of Chandi, a house mate whose birthday was just a day ahead. I just bought an ice cream for them, which I refrained from eating due to my sore throat.

I had a simple but "sweet" lunch with my officemates. What made it sweet was the blue berry cheese cake (my fave cake!) an officemate surprisingly gave me. I was touched with his gesture. It was really sweet as he lit the yellow (my fave color) candle for me to blow, and hurriedly left to get the cake he was trying to hide from me. My officemates were teasing Jaypee. They remarked that for the past five years they have been officemates, it was his first time to give a birthday cake to an officemate. And how come he already gave me one when he just knew me for barely three months. And how come he was there when it was his day off (well, they did not know i invited him *wink*). Mischievous officemates! I could not help but smile and laugh the whole time we had lunch.

Again, I had a simple but "sweeter" dinner with my care group. We had a bible study led by Patrick. We regularly have bible study every Friday. Wonderful timing! My birthday was celebrated not just with foods but with God's words. I was also teary-eyed when my care group friends shared their thoughts for me. Well, what was common with their speech was that, their friendship with me was something they did not expect for certain reasons. Shiela mentioned she felt awkward with me because I seemed not approachable and too "lady-like" the first time we met, plus the fact that the guy she used to admire is a close friend of mine. Ellaine said it was because of my closeness to someone who used to be special to her (well, that was before I knew him..hehe) and my friendship with someone whom her boyfriend (Elwyn)used to court. Elwyn also cited the same reason. Tere, Matet and Patrick stated it was because we did not have much time to really mingle and bond because I was not attending the fellowship for about two years as I pursued my masteral study. I was only able to attend few times in the young professional fellowship.

Then, it was Jaypee's turn to speak. My care group friends really wanted him to be the last to talk (they said they wanted to reserve the best for last! hmmmnn...) He also said he did not "really" expect to have me as a close friend. I smiled when he said the three things he likes about me, that I am sweet, caring and a conversant ("makwento" as he said it). I also smiled when he said he always looks forward to see me and spend time with me as his lunch buddy(really? hehe). I did not expect him to share to the group that he already cried because of me though we are just friends (hmmnn... he made me cry, too...). I was a bit silent when he "sort of explained" to the group why he did not pursue courting me. (Maybe what gave him the courage to share it was the fact that I already shared it to my care group.) The rest of my care group attentively listened to him as he spoke. Maybe, just like me, they did not expect him to share it to them considering that they knew each other just recently through me.

When it was my turn to speak, I was teary-eyed, as I realized how blessed I am to have wonderful friends like them, whom I freely share my joys and fears without the fear of being misunderstood and misjudged. It is simply because I know their relationship with the Lord, and that they genuinely care for me not just as a friend but as a sister in the Lord. I also thank the Lord for they warmly welcome and befriend one special person in my life.

I praise and thank you Lord for these wonderful people!


Note: Thank you Jayp for your "sweet" friendship.