Yesterday, I read about "letters never to be delivered". In these letters, you can write anything you want. Your true feelings: angst, fear, doubt, hurt; ecstasy, affection, love, and so on. Nothing to worry about because it is only who can read your letters.
I used to have a journal two years ago. I wrote when I was sad, confused, hurt, and broken. I also wrote when I felt happy and elated. My journal was like "letters never delivered", in a sense that no one else was able to read it. It was between me and God.
Until now, writing is like my refuge. It allows me to express what I truly feel, what I could not directly tell to other people. I am not the confrontational type. I opt to keep quiet when too sad and too angry. I did not even confront the girl (my former roommate at worse!)who dated my former boyfriend.
Yes, I love talking, but I do not usually share my deepest pains. I seldom cry, much more in front of other people. And if I do, the level of pain must be something I could hardly bear. Or it can also be I am too comfortable with the person who serves as my crying shoulder. But I do cry when I write, when I lie down in my bed with the lights off.
Recently, I shift into blogging. It is more convenient for me than writing using a pen. I can easily change my thoughts without messing my write up. I have given access to my blog to few persons only. I would have wanted to keep it for myself only, but one house mate who once saw me while writing, persuaded me enough to give her the access. Another colleague/friend also asked me to give him the access with the promise he wont let others read. My online Japanese student willingly shared to me his blog so I was sort of pressured to let him read mine.
If I were to write letters never to be delivered, I think I can write few but emotional ones. :(
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