My Lunch Buddy

People call us "lunch buddies". They start to associate us with each other, especially during lunch break. Seeing me alone in the school canteen, they wonder you are not with me, and then later on realize it is your day off.

I just wonder. Have I thanked you for being my constant companion during lunch? Maybe I already did. Or maybe I just smiled to make you feel I am grateful. Nonetheless, I want you to know I am truly thankful to you for hearty reasons.

You make me feel comfortable.

You make me talk about important details of my life.

You make me feel I am not alone.

You make me smile.:)

You make me look forward. . .

Thank you, Jayp!:)

Unique Friendship

Last night was an awesome experience. Two of my roommates were drunk. They are not really drunkards but opted to drink for almost the same reasons: Badin missed her family and Babem had a petty misunderstanding with her mom. They had their drinking session at our terrace, which I was clueless of as I was busy in our room surfing the internet. They were already drunk when I got their letter asking my permission for them to drink.

I have known them both shortly since we are roommates for only more than a month now. I am more than a decade senior than them. Our age gap is something I appreciate. Their youthful aura makes me feel light and brings out the "child" in me. They remind me of my college days then.

They have different personalities. Badin is the silent type; Babem is the expressive one. But last night, I discovered something new about them. When drunk, Badin is more expressive while Babem is silent and sweet. Badin kept on laughing, talking and apologizing for drinking. Babem kept on telling us, " I love you", while kissing our cheeks. And a normal reaction of drunk ones, they did vomit.

I was just amazed with how we reacted with their behaviors. Together with our "landlady" and other house mates, we assisted them as they were too drunk to handle themselves. I could sense no irritation among my house mates. I saw everyone's care for them. We assisted them in different ways. Our landlady and two house mates brought Babem to the comfort room so she could take a shower since her clothes were dirty due to too much vomiting. One house mate brought a pale for them to vomit. Other house mate brought mugs with lukewarm water for them to drink. Everyone had the patience listening to Badin's emotional and often-repeated lines. Another roommate was busy documenting the "event". . . An hour later, we went to bed after ensuring the two had slept already.

Yes, we all came from different backgrounds. We only got to know each other the time we live in this apartment. It is like living in ABS-CBN's "Big Brother's House". The main difference though is that we behave normally, not to earn a prize. In my case, I have lived in this boarding house with the same landlords for about four years now. Yes, I also considered finding another place wherein I could have my own room and enjoy some privacy. But my previous experience renting my own room was lonesome. I felt so alone especially during troubled times. And I think what really made me stay this long here is the sense of belongingness. I feel like they are my "second family". Our landlady and her seaman husband are not just good looking but very considerate. Their pretty five-year old girl is so smart that sometimes I feel like she outwits us.

Indeed, a unique friendship. The sad part though is that I can not have the same roommates all the time. In fact, my old roommates already left after finishing college. I was depressed when they left for good since I got so used of being with them. Yet, as the time goes on, I have realized one happy part, that is, every now and then I gain not only new house mates but friends. I am also glad I still have one house mate (Ms. Amie) who has been with me for few years already. She also told me she prefers to stay here with her younger sister even after graduating.

Surely I wont stay here forever for I also want to have a family of my own in the near future. I wont be with these young ladies, my landlady and her family for a long time. But there is one thing I am sure of. They always have special place in my heart.

Thank you Lord for these wonderful people! :-)

Note: By the way, Badin and Babem are already good while I am writing this. We are all teasing them. :-)

The Only One True Love

Some close friends of mine keep on telling me to find the one for me. As they say, it is high time for me to love and be loved. I agree. It has been five years I am not in a relationship. Perhaps, they start thinking I am forgetting the need (is it really a need?) to have someone in my life. Of course not. I never forget. I just choose to wait.

I don't think I have to find him. I still believe that the one for me will come at the right time, God's perfect time. Those in my past came to my life and later on left for good reasons. Yes, I could have chosen to keep my past relationship, but for certain reasons, it slipped away from my hands, no matter how tightly I held it. It was not just meant for me. And as the time goes by, after all the tears, I have embraced acceptance, and more importantly, obedience.

Sometimes I am left wondering what really love is. I experienced loving and being loved by someone special. Yet till now, I cannot really fathom the truest meaning of love. Maybe because the ones I loved could not help but cause me pain, well, human as they are. And such pain used to break my heart. But I believe, there is such a thing as necessary pain-- the kind of pain that makes you mature, strong and hopeful of the future. The kind of future you ask from above.

A new friend recently sent me a text message that reads, "a man's love fails but God's love never fails". I am agreeable. I am always unfaithful to the Lord, yet, He remains forever faithful. God may allow some tears to flow, some misery to rest in our hearts, yet, it is just His way of pruning and molding us into better persons, pleasing to His eyes.

For me, God's love is the only one true love! He died in the cross just for us.
Ours is just an imitation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOY0mjjmx8Y

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I Corinthians 13: 4-7,13
"Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up and its faith, hope and patience never prevail. Meanwhile, these three remain: faith, hope and love; and the greatest of these is love.

Having a Joyful Heart

Many times, I counted my sorrows than my joys. And it made my sadness grow into doubt, resentment and worst, bitterness. I used to cling to my past. I was (and maybe still am to some extent) the type who could hardly let go of something and someone I cherished but lost. I dwelt with so many "what ifs", "why couldn't be" that I forgot to see the beautiful things ahead of me. I did cry "bucket" of tears for my failed relationships. I blamed myself with the thought that I could have chosen to be happy, with the man I used to love, and with a career I dreamed of. There was even a point in my life that I felt so stagnant and it seemed nothing better will happen. Everything was but routine. I was sick of waking up everyday and doing the same thing again and again. . .

Yet, when our church pastor mentioned in his sermon to start counting God's blessings, I was amazed to know I have many reasons to be happy, much more, joyful. God has been good to me in many ways which I failed to see.

Foremost, I thank God for this life. Not all are given the chance to see the beauty of His wonderful creation. I thank Him for the good health and strength. When I had appendectomy almost two years ago, I realized that indeed God is faithful. I celebrated my birthday in the hospital, something I never had the hint would happen. I cried hard when the doctor advised for urgent surgery, otherwise my appendix might rapture and cause harm to my life. I chose not to inform my loved ones right away. I did not want to make them worry a lot. My mother is hypertensive and my father is easily saddened with any bad news. Even If I would tell them immediately, they would still not make it during my operation. It was so urgent that I had to be operated three hours after I was diagnosed of acute appendicitis. If I told my parents, they had to travel at least 8 hours by bus. I only told my sister the day after the operation and asked her to keep it until my discharge from the hospital. My parents only knew it during the last day of my stay in the hospital. It was also my birthday. They were shocked but relieved after I convinced them I was in good condition already. A family in my church offered me to stay in their house for about 10 days. I am always grateful to the Mawas family for that. Ate Jing (RN) nursed me for free. Vienna (a very good friend of mine) shared her room to me. Man-man (Ate Jing and Kuya Ben's son) was my playful companion.

I also thank God for helping me hurdle the rigor of my career and my studies. I thought I could not finish my masteral on time with all the demands of my previous job. I almost lost hope and wanted to join few classmates who opted to drop the Strategic Plan subject. Yet, thanks to few masteral friends (special mention to Amie, Rodj, Nahlu and Lourdes) for their company and encouragement. We shared some coffee and sleepless Friday nights doing our individual strategic plan paper. And we all made it to graduation.

In addition, I thank God for the new job I have now. I got the job just in time my heart and my mind wanted it badly. I am still adjusting with the new working environment, yet, I am enjoying my new friends, new experience and new learning.

I also thank the Lord for my first two nephews. My older sister gave birth through normal delivery just few minutes after the doctor declared she had to undergo cesarian operation. Likewise, my sister-in-law did not have any problem with her delivery.

I thank God each day of my life. I thank God for loved ones who always inspire me to do best. I often miss them but I think they miss me more, with their widest smiles those few treasured moments we shared every time I got the chance to go home for a vacation.

I may get sad (well, a normal thing for human beings!) but I have learned to see and get excited of what God has prepared ahead of me.

I want to end this with my favorite Bible passage in Jeremiah 29:11- The Lord said, " For I know the plans I have for you; plan to prosper you and not to harm you; plan to give you the future you hope for."

Happily Waiting :-)

It's all over!

My feelings for him. My regrets. My pain. I have moved on. I have accepted we are not made for each other.

I believe God is still writing my love story. I may not know yet the leading man in that story. However, I am pretty sure he is the best for me. My heart may long for someone else for now. My faith may dwindle every now and then. Still, I trust that the moment the Lord will reveal the right one for me, it will be a delightful surprise. More than I expect. More than my heart desires.

He may not fit the standards I have set for a lover, much more for a lifetime partner. He may not be what others expect for me to share the rest of my life with. Still, I have the peace that he is the best for me. The best not because of what and who he is or he is not. The best because he is the one God has prepared for me.

I am just right here. Waiting. Hoping. Praying. Trusting.

Hope to meet him soon in God's perfect time.

Time Heals

I just want to thank one person who helped me move on. He is the same person who caused my heart misery few years ago. Though, I believe, it was also my fault. After all, it took the two of us to "tango". And so I blamed myself, too.

Looking back, I enjoyed those times we were together. He was the sweetest suitor I ever had. . . and maybe the most patient. However, waiting is not really easy. He could wait no more. And so he left without letting me know why. I was hurt when I learned from a common friend that he already got married. So painful!

I felt betrayed with what he did. I cried several times. Deep inside, I wanted to ask him why he did it to me. I wanted to scream! But I realized it would not do anything good. Not anymore.

A year passed by. Then one night, someone sent me text messages but refused to reveal his identity. A familiar line from his text made me recognize him. He was surprised I knew it was him. How could I forget such familiar line?

We talked over the phone for almost an hour on that same night. He said "sorry" for what happened. He did a sort of explanation of what happened about a year ago. He told me that all he wanted that time was to settle down but I was quite pre-occupied with my career and my masteral. That he wanted my full attention then, which apparently I failed to give.. . And that he missed me. . .That it should have been the two of us now. . .He asked me if I ever loved him. . . And I said, it's already part of the past and there's no point of telling him, whatever it might be.

I told him God has other plans for the both of us. That we are not really meant for each other. Otherwise, he should have not met his wife during the time he wanted to settle down.

With all honesty, his call flattered my heart. It convinced me that indeed he loved me. That I was special to him. . . But sad to say it's all over now! And all I need to do is.... accept.

Moving on without him may still hurt once in a while. However, I now have the peace of mind after our talk. I am just glad we remain friends. And I do want to be a good friend to him by encouraging him to be faithful, not to me, but to his wife.

Project Management

IS PROJECT MANAGEMENT A SCIENCE OR AN ART?

Project Management is defined as a discipline of planning, organizing and managing resources to bring about the successful completion of a specific project. A project is defined as an organized work towards a pre-defined goal or objective that requires resources and effort, a unique venture having a budget and schedule. Its success can be measured in terms of how closely it comes to meeting the goal or objective within the parameters of its budget and schedule. It is characterized by impermanence since it ceases once the project is completed. (Mike Field & Laurie Keller, 1998).

In my own perspective, project management is both a science and an art. It is a science because it seeks to understand and apply processes, tools and techniques. The use of project management tools such as the Gantt chart/PERT CPM, cost monitoring and control, etc. are very relevant. These provide direction and guidelines for project completion and success.

Project management is an art because it involves the organization and the people. It requires a tedious task of organizing, building and motivating the team. For a project to succeed, it requires the right and appropriate people. It requires an effective project manager and dedicated team members. Along the way, several issues may arise due to conflict of personalities and interests. It is a reality that people tend to communicate ineffectively as evidenced by gossips and hearsays—which all ruin the team’s unity. Yet, an effective leadership and communication will ease out barriers and bring unity to the team. Hence, the people who work for the project namely, the project manager and the team members need to communicate effectively, work within the organization’s culture and motivate each other. The project manager needs to have leadership skills and organizational effectiveness. Team members need to have the dedication and determination for the project’s success.

A personal experience noted certain challenges in project management. I experienced handling a three-day, out of town Job Hunt. As Head of the Personnel Department, I automatically became the project manager and my members are five Personnel staff. The goal was to hire at least 400 people for casual and staff level positions. The project cost was not much of an issue because the city government through the Public Employment Service Office (PESO) offered a place to hold the event. Renting a venue to hold such big event should have been the biggest chunk of the cost. However, a challenge was posed with the lack of experience of the Personnel staff since three of them were still very new in the company. Another challenge was the external coordination with the City Mayor’s office and PESO due to the distance and an impersonal means of communication (e.g. telephone). Yet, through proper identification and delegation of tasks and motivation, the “neophytes” were able to deliver. Proper scheduling and monitoring of activities in preparation of the Job Hunt (e.g. preparation of materials, such as streamers, posters, test booklets, etc.; and advertisements) made the event well disseminated and organized. The Job Hunt team came back successful, able to meet the management’s expectation.

Human Resource

Which Is Difficult, To Fire The Wrong Person

Or To Hire The Right Person?

For more than six years of working as Human Resource Officer, hiring the right person and firing the wrong person do not become my cup of tea. They both remain my struggles.

Hiring the right person for a job is one of my toughest tasks. Resumes, aptitude and personality tests and interviews do not say everything about the person. There are applicants who are very intellectually equipped and yet emotionally unprepared for a job. Many times, I was “wowed” by interviewees with their credentials, level of confidence and pleasant personalities only to realize quite soon they are not the right persons for the job. Some lack the “soft” skills, while others, the “hard” skills necessary in order to be effective in a job. I once hired a Training Officer whom I thought was very fit for the job. During the interview, she convinced me that talking to a group was her passion. Among the applicants, she was the most conversant and pleasant. I hired her on the spot. During her evaluation day, she seemed very enthusiastic while running the training. However, after several times of running the same training, she admitted she had difficulty sustaining a discussion to a big group of 30 to 40 trainees. I was already trapped with her “deception skills” during the interview. She exactly knew who I wanted and pretended to be that person. And I was wrong.

I also hired a store operations supervisor whose resume, wit and leadership potential impressed me. After a month, she came to my office with a resignation letter, telling me she could hardly supervise her subordinates. She even cried in front of them out of frustration.

On the contrary, there was this one employee I hired despite the lack of competence. She had difficulty expressing her thoughts and showed nervousness while talking. I still hired her because of the urgent need. She has been with the company for three years and almost always hits the sales quota. These experiences made me realize that I can never say who the “right” person. Whom I considered “right” was “wrong” and whom I thought was “wrong” turned out “right”. Indeed. It will take time to be able to know if he or she is the right person. And usually, the confirmation happens after hiring the person.

In the same manner, firing the wrong person is one of the hardest things to do. It is even made more difficult when that person considers himself “right” for the job or when you know he or she is the family bread-winner. One probationary employee contested the performance appraisal of his immediate superior. He was very disheartened and it took me almost an hour to explain why his contract had to be terminated. During our conversation, I reflected I caused a share of his pain for hiring him.

Wonderful Memories

And so we met.

You thought I was too brave to finally agree to meet you all by myself. I also thought the same until I changed my mind to bring two of my friends without your consent. I felt awkward but excited to finally see you.

You were so masculine in your white polo shirt and faded blue maong pants. I was mesmerized by your two cute little dimples everytime you smiled. But good as I was in hiding my emotion, I know you never had the hint how I felt.

Twas 3:00 PM so I was not really starving. We just ordered 2 glasses of iced tea. You insisted that we order more but we politely refused.

Our meeting was just less than an hour because you also had to drive your mom home. But I guess, I talked that much (didn't I?). We bid goodbye bearing in mind we will meet again because you said so. And I was looking forward to our next meeting.

Just When I'm Ready, You Left

I never expected it would hurt that much.

I know I just took you forgranted. I was too pre-occupied by my plan to pursue graduate studies. I was too confident you'd just be there when I'm ready. But then, you left just when I am ready. How painful. How miserable.

It has been more than a year now but I could not say I have completely moved on. Many times I regret. I know this is not good for me. I should not be driven by my past. But it is difficult to just accept you are not really meant for me. Because I thought you were. . .

I wish to see you somewhere down the road. Not to interfere with your life now. Not to bring back the past. But to thank you that for once, I had your affection.